I struggle with normal friendship because my sexual desires tend to consume my interactions. Every time I meet someone new and we start getting along, I immediately wonder if it could become sexual, which changes how I behave. I can't just enjoy the moment or build a genuine platonic connection because there's always this undercurrent of "could we?" in my mind. It makes me analyze everything too much—their smile, their touch, their comments—looking for signs that aren't really there. This sexual hunger hijacks my social instincts, turning potentially great friendships into opportunities for rejection or disappointment. Even when I try to be just friends, my brain rewires conversations into flirtation, and before long, I've either made things awkward by crossing boundaries or sabotaged the relationship by coming on too strong. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even capable of normal friendship without this constant sexual interference coloring everything.