Been having weird thoughts about my pastor at church. It started during his sermons when I'd find myself focusing on his hands as he gestured, imagining what they'd feel like on my skin instead of just holding the Bible. Then I began noticing little details - the way his collar sits against his throat, how his voice deepens when he gets passionate about a passage, the rare moments when his professional demeanor cracks and I see something more human underneath. Last Sunday our eyes met during communion and I swear there was something there, a flicker of recognition that went beyond pastor and parishioner. Now I can't stop wondering what he'd be like outside that church, if his hands would be as gentle blessing my forehead as they would be tracing my body, if those passionate sermon delivery skills translate to other areas. I feel guilty every time I kneel to pray, but my mind keeps wandering to places it definitely shouldn't go.